His wishes

***I added a little more and another prayer request at the end of this post. ***

This morning went very, very well, and I could sense that many of you were praying.  I had a real peace that could only have come from the Lord.  It was actually harder on Noah than on it was on me, and he took several breaks to just rush into my lap and bury his head in my shoulder for a wordless snuggle.  Interestingly enough, every question that was directly related to death was answered decisively and without hesitation - it was clear that he'd already thought these things through.

As is so often the case, now that we finished, I'm feeling a little more emotional so I can't share fully right now, but I'll hit a couple of his main things.

When it is time for him to go to heaven, he wants to be "in my house, in my bed, under my blanket."
The best thing about going to heaven is that "I'm going to get to ride a mammoth."  So funny - he said this with very calm certainty.  :-)
The thing that worries him about dying is that "it is taking too long for me to go to heaven."  THAT was hard to hear, and we revisited the question a couple of times to be sure he was really saying what we thought he was saying.  He made it clear that he's tired, hurting, and in many ways ready to go.  He is NOT dying right now by ANY means, but he has obviously made his peace with the whole thing.

Interestingly enough, he listed "blood" as one of the things that makes him more comfortable, and he told me today that he felt much better than he did before his transfusion.  His hemoglobin is a lovely 12.3 - still actually slightly below normal, but it's as high as he ever gets.  We'll go back to hem/onc in a couple of weeks and transfuse again if needed.

We got an amazing phone call this week.  Noah's hospice group has been working on his behalf with a group called Sharing Precious Memories.  They aren't a wish-granting organization like Make a Wish, but they do provide one week stays in resorts around the US. Noah's been granted a week in Myrtle Beach!!!! (These are not inclusive trips with meals or event tickets, but even just getting stay on the beach for a week is AMAZING.)   He's having his surgery Thursday and we'll leave the following Monday.  I know that's fast, but the surgery should be very straightforward and there's a real sense of urgency in terms of getting him there as quickly as we can.  You see, there is an Alligator Adventure there and they stop doing gator feeding shows in October.  Usually the weather is already chilly enough that the gators would have already stopped feeding, but it's been pretty warm and Noah's been invited to be a special guest to see a 20 foot croc being fed.  No one is willing to risk waiting until spring for the gators to wake up and start eating again, so we are doing it right now.  Hospice is also working on getting passes into the Ripley's Aquarium so he can see a Giant Pacific Octopus.

I've blogged before about my deep, deep desire for Noah to be able to see the ocean and to see an octopus.  We've tried to save up money to go for even one night but have always had to use the money for bills.  We hadn't even said anything about it to hospice, but knowing Noah's love for gators and octopuses, they asked if he'd had his MAW trip yet.  When we said that he'd done it when he was much, much younger, they set to work putting this trip into motion.

To say that we're blessed and thankful and thrilled is an understatement!!  I do have a couple of specific prayer requests regarding the trip:

1. For Noah's surgery to go off beautifully and for him to be as healthy and comfortable as possible.  We'll continue to get hospice nursing visits/checkups while we are there, which is a very reassuring to us.

2.  This might sound silly, but please really, really pray for a yard sale we're having tomorrow.  We had one last week, but had a lot left over.  We'd decided to save it and do another sale in the spring, but because of this trip we are doing it tomorrow instead.  We'll be staying in a condo and I'm planning to cook all of our meals there in the kitchen, but we want so very much to have a little discretionary spending money so we can get the children a souvenir, go out for ice cream, or maybe even go out to eat once.  This is NOT me hinting for money - we're happy to do the yard sale and raise some money ourselves.  :-)  It's just simply a fact that we don't have an extra $50 or anything to enable us to say "yes" to some things while we're there.  Even if we can't spend a dime the entire time, I know we will ALL have an amazing time and we don't have the words to say how grateful we are . . . but since I know we have things in storage that I can sort through and sell, I'm going to do so.  Please, please understand what I am saying here.

If any of you are near Myrtle Beach, we'd love to meet up with you if possible.  If we raise enough at the yard sale, I might be asking for some opinions on some fun, inexpensive things to do while we're there.  I'd love to find an indoor lazy river that Noah could ride - it would allow him to enjoy being in the water without getting all of his lines wet.  We don't want to go to a full-blown water park as they are too expensive and Noah couldn't do most of the things there, but if any of you know of an indoor lazy river that isn't too pricey and that would be open, please let me know.  I know some resorts have them but I think they are only for the guests.

Our children do NOT know about this trip.  Hannah is the only one who knows, because I'll need her cooperation and help to pull this off as a surprise.  The children will get a packing list but won't know where we are going  - don't know if we'll tell them in the car or wait until we get there.  :-)  We don't want to risk broken hearts if Noah's surgery does not go well and we can't go!!  They are going to be so thrilled!!

Off to sort out baby clothes to sell . . .

Blessings,
Kate
**** Edited to add****  Forgot to mention - I've never been able to sort through Noah's outgrown clothes - I just quickly pack them away each season. I need to go through them tonight - he'd love the money for the trip more than he'd like to know that I saved everything he ever wore LOL. Please pray - this is very heartrending to do. We're saving our absolute favorites to have made into a quilt or two one day, and selling the rest. As Jeff pointed out, even if the Lord gave us another son one day, I couldn't bear to see him in Noah's clothes every day . . . . still, so hard. SO MANY memories attached to those clothes. Please just pray.